Run Every Day – Day 13

I had a crap nights sleep last night so I thought I’d write about sleep/depression/anxiety today. This is not a simple cause and effect relationship. Insomnia or poor sleep is a leading cause of depression and anxiety as is sleep apnea but additionally depression/anxiety can be a cause of insomnia/poor sleep.

So there are two ways to get on to this little roundabout but once you are on it it can be a vicious circle that is difficult to step off. In my case I started with some classic insomnia, I would get to sleep ok but then I would be wide awake about 2/3 hours later, not only that but my anxiety meant that my side of the bed was drenched in sweat. Occasionally I could remember what my anxiety was about. I would revisit a successful project in my dream but now it had all gone wrong. I went through this cycle a couple of times and the solution was sleeping pills that over a period of 6 – 8 weeks got me back to ‘normal’. Except it wasn’t, I felt that I was getting a good solid nights sleep but  was feeling more and more tired. It culminated in falling asleep while heading towards Grange in Lindale while turning left at the roundabout and hitting the kerb.

I went to the doctors and was finally diagnosed with sleep apnea. My fifty plus windpipe would collapse at night and essentially I was waking up 32 times an hour – not conscious awake but enough to ensure I got no restorative sleep. So since then I have begun to get 4 hours good sleep, it may not seem a lot but compared to virtually zero it is a marked improvement.

Has it cured my depression or anxiety – no but I have been more stable in the past 2 years and that is a huge step forward – the moral of this tale, do not ignore sleeping issues – see your GP.

Run Every Day – Day 13 – 50 mins

I really enjoyed that – I left the car at the car park near the transmitter and headed out along Cunswick Scar – it’s probably colder than yesterday but it is light and the sun is shining and that makes a world of difference. No real snow up here, more of a sprinkling of castor sugar on the ground. As I climb up towards the cairn I can see the snow capped fells around Kentmere, I drop down the other side and as I turn to head back the snow capped Howgills come in to view. Running back towards the transmitter I decide to do a figure of 8 loop up on to Scout Scar. I reach the mushroom (what was that all about?) and continue towards the trig point and beyond. As I drop down to the path that will lead me back to the car via the escarpment I make the same mistake as I did the other day. I let my mind wander and then I trip, no pretence of battling with gravity I just hit the ground. So that woke me up and I pay attention as I come back along the escarpment and back to the car – this is why I run.


The Howgills from Cunswick Scar

Published by


A 50 something film and digital photographer based in Kendal, Cumbria. Blogging about mental health, mental wellbeing, living with a colostomy and music memories.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s